Hellboy Fails To Raise Any Hell!

Good day my friends, hope you are all doing well! As for me I am doing fine, been busy with writing, work, run training and spending time with family and friends. This past weekend in fact I spent some time with some good friends. We went out to the tattoo expo here in Saskatoon and then went out for a drink afterwards. It is always nice to get together with friends, to catch up on each other's lives, share stories as we all have busy schedules and sometimes, we don’t text each other as much as we should! One of the things that always does come up when we talk is about the movies we have seen, because that is something that we all enjoy. One of my friends in conversation told me about a certain movie that is on my list to see and told me not to see it, as it was not worth it. Now I am not going to tell you which movie that is and no, it is not this movie! But I said I am going to have to as a movie reviewer I need to inform people of the good movies and the bad ones. Like Forrest Gump said,” Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get!” The same goes for a movie, you never know if it is going to be good or not and we all have our own opinions on them. I am not going to beat around the bush here and get right down to brass tacks to tell you which movie I am reviewing this week! This week I am reviewing the remake of 2004’s Hellboy, based on the graphic novels of Mike Mignola. This time around the cast list includes David Harbour( Suicide Squad) as Hellboy, Milla Jovovich(Fifth Element) as Nimue/The Blood Queen), Ian McShane(John Wick) as Professor Broom and Sasha Lane(American Honey) as Alice. Let’s take a look at this new version of Hellboy and see if the remake was worth the effort.

The powerful, immortal sorceress Nimue(Jovovich) had almost succeeded in destroying humanity with plague in the dark ages but was betrayed by one of her fellow witches and dismembered by the famous King Arthur. Her body parts were placed in separate chests, blessed with a holy lock to keep them from being opened by anyone and sent to different unknown locations around the world unknown to anyone. Over 1500 years later and the creature known as Hellboy(Harbour), the best warrior in the fight against the evil supernatural forces and top agent for the secret government agency that deals with such phenomenon’s is being summoned back after a tough mission in Mexico by his father Professor Broom(McShane). The Professor needs Hellboy to go to London, England to aid a secret society known as the Osiris Club in destroying some giants. It is there that he not only finds out some secrets about his past, but also that they Osiris club is not in need of his help. They intend to kill him to stop a prophecy that says he will end the world. Surviving the attempt and killing the giants who saved him from the Osiris Club and rescued by an old friend Alice (Lane) as psychic, he is found by his father professor Broom and told he is needed to stop Nimue who has been freed from her prisons and reassembled by an old foe of Hellboy in the promise that Nimue will make him powerful enough to kill Hellboy. But Nimue has other plans for Hellboy, knowing his origins and his supposed destiny. Nimue plans to make Hellboy her king in bringing about the apocalypse as he was prophesized to. With the help of Alice, a British agent with a secret of his own and his father Hellboy must defy destiny and choose to be either the good man he is or the demon he was foretold to be and destroy Nimue and stop her plans to end humanity.

Now remember what I said earlier about going to a movie can be a crap shoot and it could either be good or bad and that as a reviewer I must inform people on both kinds. Well, I am not going to beat around the bush and tell you that this movie was not at all on the good side. It was nowhere near the quality of Guillermo Del Toro’s 2004 version. This movie had a story that was all over the place, the acting was horrible, and the dialogue was bad and just plain cheesy! But like I said I must inform you on a bad movie and this movie was poorly done on so many levels as stated above. The jokes weren’t funny, and it mostly relied on the cgi to save the day. This was a remake that didn’t need to be done, I am thinking Hollywood needs to start looking at more original movie ideas and stop with the remakes unless it is good because most of them pale in comparison to the original. That being said I am giving Hellboy a 5.1 on the Justin Scale Of Movies and putting it on my Flick-It pile of movies to avoid at the theatre. There you have it my friends, my movie review for this week! And as they say in Hollywood, that’s a wrap! Until next time remember to keep that popcorn freshly popped and save me a good seat because I will be seeing you again at the movies!